Uh… writing. I can’t even. Oh but I must. It’s good to be real and authentic, right? Although I confess, I haven’t even made it a priority to do so. Let’s talk about what I am afraid to talk about. The real, the raw, and the kinda comical. All behind the scenes at www.cottercrunch.com
(photo curtsey of my lovely from Lindsay at PoY workshop)
That is until today. I’m stopping the “must be productive ” mind chatter to discuss life. I am not going to even apologize for lack of recipe today. GASP!
And… here we are. Another behind the Lens (Scenes) of life. Or rather, behind the iPhone. LOL! I’m actually typing this on my phone at the airport.
If you missed the first behind the lens, just go back to this post about worth.
So, what’s really going on at the Crazy Cotter household? What have I been afraid to tell you?
Pull up a chair and let’s have some coffee talk and baked donuts. Warning, you might laugh and cry in this post. Oh, and there is no judging me for my grammar. Mmm k? Raw and real, kinda like my husband’s awesome hair. YO!
Side note: How cute is my husband? Yes, I made him pose like this. 😆 What a champ!
Okay okay focus Lindsay, focus. Face the FEAR.
8 Things I am Afraid to Tell You
- I am terrified of money and social media, but we’ll save the social media fears for another day. .You see, after 10 years of marriage, chasing a dream (pro triathlon), and living paycheck to paycheck, I still have this scarcity mindset. Thankfully God has provided us with abundant work and we are no longer in that place. Except I continued to act like we were. Does that make sense? These past few years, money has been a stronghold in my life because I was so AFRAID of not having enough again. It mentally exhausted me and any talk about money/payments gave me anxiety. I worked more and more just for the sake of feeling secure. And you know where that led me? No where. In fact, it made me question my trust in God’s plan, which is very much NOT LIKE ME. Thankfully, my family and husband helped me realize this and I am working on letting go knowing that God is sovereign in his plans. I am rebuilding my relationship with money now. Starting with this book, The Law of Divine Compensation
- Now, this money fear lead me to another issue.. You see, about a month ago my husband was laid off. In fact, his whole company was bought out and laid off. Just all of a sudden. I freaked. In fact, I panicked. I overreacted and I emotionally pushed my husband far far away. Our marriage was probably the worst it had been in a long time all due to my fears. Yep. I was that over-reactive stress ball of a wife. But you know what? I am so so thankful for that time because it made us break down and build back up. It made us come up with a plan. And it made me shift from focus from frantic to GRATEFUL! My husband immediately flew down to Austin and started interviewing with companies. He’s there staying with family. I stayed in Utah, but have been working on restructuring our business (Cotter Crunch) to be more fruitful, organized, and authentic. It was time to revamp that ONE THING FOCUS! Oh and promote cookbook schtuff!
- I have let negativity rule my life this past year. You know when something disappointing happens and you let it get to you? Then another, and another, and another? Your head becomes full of negative thoughts that just recycle over and over again. I was in that trap Nothing positive allowed. In fact, if I did have positive thoughts, I felt guilty. How sad. My confidence dwindled and the self loathing talk was a daily battle. This effected how I represented my work and even how I “promoted” my cookbook, etc. I never thought anything was good enough. The shift? Well, I’m still working on that, but there have been a few moments that truly helped me break negativity! One of them was a sermon from the Well Church. The other was a book called letting go. Truly a great book to retrain your brain from those negative thoughts.
- All this negativity and lack of confidence pushed me to believe I didn’t deserved help, any help, yet I was letting work slay me and rule my life. That had to to change. So guess what? I HIRED ON SITE HELP! Yep, I was afraid to tell you I have help. SO SO wrong! So let’s scratch that and rephrase. I AM NOW beyond excited tell you I put money fears aside and hired an amazing friend, project manager, and assistant. I also hired a business coach. Two things I always wanted to do for Cotter Crunch. We can’t evolve into better humans and businesses without people who motivate us, coach us, or support us! Am I right?
So friends, meet ALEX! She’s part of the Cotter Crunch Team and is basically managing all my brain. I adore her and I know you will you! You’ll see her in IG stories and her lovely hands have already graced the pages of some photos. Like these tacos! Also, you know what else is amazing about Alex? She has the heart of GOLD! Her and her husband are raising money so they can get back to Samoa and take supplies for the hurricane relief project. Go check out her GO FUND ME page, just do it! Mmm k?
Also, huge shout out to Laurie (my VA)! Laurie the most supportive friend and virtual assistant ever, especially when I was working long long nights writing the cookbook. TRUE BLESSING!
Okay now let’s lighten things up!
- I caved. I started using beauty counter. Why? Because making my husband go buy me hemorrhoid cream (to put under my eyes) was just not that glamorous! See, my husband is true champ! But I am so glad I did because I think it’s working. Shout out to my friend Heather for hooking me up on that eye cream.
- Speaking of eyes… I now have eye lash extensions. GASP! Who am I? But again, I have a story. You see, I became friends with an amazing esthetician here (Hi Nikki), and we started trading trades. She would fancy up my eyes with eye lashes and in return, I would teach her how to meal prep and cook a few staple recipes!I posted the fun on IG stories last Sunday. We made superfood oatmeal jars and BBQ salmon meal prep bowls! It was so so fun! Not gonna lie, the eye lash extensions are addicting. I just wake up and put on blush and go. OMG it’s amazing! I feel like my eyes are so much brighter. Which come in handy when I am shooting INSPO recipe videos.
- Oh recipe videos… here’s the real raw truth about those. I cannot for the life of me cut/chop food properly. In fact, whenever we have Inspo recipe video shoots, we have to spend extra time filming my chopping segments because I am sooooo bad. Go check out my cookbook video. Those chopping shots took A LONG TIME to get right! Yep, truck scrappy chef here. As a cookbook author and food blogger, I feel like I let you all down with these lack of skills. Haha! Needless to say, my mandoline slicer s my best friend. I’ll get there, maybe one day. If you know of any awesome YouTube videos to improve my culinary knife skills, send them my way!
- At last but not least…. RAW RAW RAW. Yep, it’s raw cookie dough. You see, since my husband has been away, I’ve developed a few bad eating habits. Um… like buying a $12 roll of paleo vegan cookie dough and eating it straight up at night. With a glass of wine. But hey, there could be worse habits, right? Or maybe I should just make my own vegan chocolate chip cookies and save the $12. First world problems.
Okay I feel like I could share a ton more but maybe we just start there. I’ll practice my vulnerability and get back to you in say… about a month or two?
Tell me one thing you want to get off your chest! No fear, no judgement here. Mmm k?
Thank you for listening friends.