14 Ways You Might Be Standing in Your Way to Success and how to unblock them! The truth is, we all can sometimes get in our way and hold ourselves back, but let’s be ready to recognize and change that.
One thing I have learned over the past few years is that it’s important to have certain friends who not only encourage you, but also hold you accountable and are REAL with you. Tara is definitely one of those friends. And when you are an entrepreneur/blogger/big dreamer, you definitely need someone who knows how you feel but can also encourage you to LIVE life first. Because, let’s face it, sometimes we get in our own way.. .. okay, a lot of times we get in our own way. At least I do.
So today I am taking a step back so that you can breathe in all this encouragement yourself. Tara Newman is one amazing friend and life coach that not only practices what she preaches, but has the boldness to share her experiences, her failures, and unconventional ways to success with us! Thank you Tara!
Hi! I’m Tara Newman and I’m so excited Lindsay has asked me back to share my passion for helping mission-driven people succeed.
I’m a Success and Mindset Coach.
I help ambitious people reduce overload, develop their own way to success model, and master the mindset they need to set their world on fire.
I believe we can do big, purposeful things without losing our sanity, health, or family.  This is something I figured out the hard way. After a very real experience with burnout, I became determined to live my purpose everyday and perform my best by doing less.  The result? I’ve learned how to succeed and achieve with ease.
I’ve learned lots of other things from my experience and from the 100’s of awesome people I have coached over the years. Like this gem I’m sharing with you today…you’re probably blocking your own success.
I am in the process of making the shift from corporate crusader to entrepreneur.  A shift that in my head is a done deal.  It’s something I could have done a long time ago except for one giant hurdle standing in my way.
For most of my life, my overdeveloped inner critic ruled the roost.
I did what I was supposed to do.
I followed the rules.
I challenged nothing.
I just went with the tide.
Except I’m not average. None of us are.
We have unique skills and dreams that are meant to be shared with the world around us.
For ten years I have held the vision of teaching people how to improve their lives and businesses by honing their mindset and leadership skills.
I had a vision of leaders standing confidently for what they believe, making impact in the world around them, and sharing their inspiring messages — whether this meant leading in their business, career, or relationships.
And for ten years, I couldn’t get started. I didn’t know how or why or what was standing in my way.  I over thought myself in circles trying to gain clarity and move past what was blocking me.
Until I realized what was blocking me was ME and man, that really pissed me off. I look back on the younger, rule following, terrified version of me with regret.
Why couldn’t you just get out of your own way, follow less rules, be a little braver?
So, here is what I would tell my younger, less confident self.
Dear Me,
You are standing in the way of your own success.  Here’s why:
- You aren’t letting yourself fail. This is so painful and scary but the truth is, success only comes through failure.
- You aren’t thinking BIG picture.
- You don’t connect with your why every day. We live in a busy world with lots of information coming at us daily. It’s easy to lose sight of why we have chosen this path.
- You haven’t challenged yourself to think BIGGER. Go beyond yourself. What’s the whole truth?
- You aren’t surrounding yourself with the right people. If you want to be a leader, surround yourself with leaders, people who think different, who think bigger.
- You don’t have a daily mindset practice. You need to get into your head and sort it out, everyday. Challenge yourself to work through resistance and fear.
- You don’t prioritize personal development.
- You’re too focused on the outcome. Step back and check in with your purpose and why you are on this journey.
- You’re not investing in yourself and your dream. Yes, it’s horribly frightening to put your money where your mouth is.  Do it anyway.Â
- You don’t ask for help. This is the first thing that needs to be done. No shame.
- You aren’t managing yourself like the asset you are. You’re all you have. Take care of you, first.
- You’re not developing customized habits that allow you to perform at a high level. Consistency wins every time. Habits help you stay consistent.
- You’re not leveraging ALL of you. This includes but not limited to your skills, experiences, unique talents, interests, and passions.
If I want success, I know today that all I need to do is review this list regularly and adjust my course where necessary.
What about you? How are you standing in the way of your own success?
- Want to really get a handle on what success looks like for you? Download my FREE Turn Your Dreams Into Plans Workbook.
What’s one thing you can do NOW to get out of your own way to success or to achieve your goals?
Yes –> That’s my Corny Cotter Question!
Cheers,
Umm humm… totally needed this kick in the pants.
I was reading this thinking “oh yeah- why do I do that (or don’t do the other)?”
Thanks for all the valuable info Tara!!
Love that pic of you Lindsay!
So glad this resonated Natalie. Would love to hear ONE action you will take as a result of your new awareness 🙂
Yes! We wrote about similar things this week and it’s totally true–sometimes the thing holding you back the most is you!
If I’m being honest — it’s the only thing that holds me back. I know if I’m sitting in inaction, I need to check myself.
Thanks for sharing this, Tara and Lindsay. It was just what I needed RIGHT NOW. I’ve needed a kick in the pants to really start doing what I want to do and not be afraid of the possibility of failure. I also haven’t been investing in my dream…but if I don’t, how will it ever come to fruition? I’m FINALLY realizing that. I just need to take that leap of faith and go for it. Thank you!!
Go for it Devon! Leap big
Devon — so glad this resonated at the RIGHT time. Great awareness around investing in your dream. Your time is NOW — go get it!
I love point #3 the most. Our WHY should be what drives us everyday to work towards our dream and our goals. Without a strong sense of why we’re doing what we’re doing, we’re left with little to no motivation to do the best we can do.
Simon Sinek did a great TED Talk talking about “starting with why” and it was something that really stuck with me for years after watching it.
Me too! And thanks for sharing the TED talk
Hi Elle — Simon’s Ted Talk is required watching for all my clients. It’s a great tool for life, business, career, etc.
And you’re, correct, it’s integral to our motivation.
I feel like I should print this out and make it part of a daily ritual…I am in the midst of facing the reality/consequences of a failure (if I can really call it that because there was so much GOOD that came with it) and it’s hard to not be SCARED to take more chances, but I’m a dreamer and it’s just in my nature to keep climbing and reaching for what’s bigger than I am! Now to just stop getting in my own way… 😉
Katie — sorry to hear your having to pick yourself up from a fall. If you haven’t read Brene Brown’s Rising strong, it’s an amazing book that might be helpful for you right now.
This is awesome Lindsay. I’m so stuck on numbers 2 through 4 – working on that starting tomorrow.
A good question to ask yourself every day is “what is possible for me today?” Think in terms of possibilities to expand past what is typical. When we stick with things that are typical, expected, safe,and someone else’s blueprint for success, we inhibit our ability to really get in the game.
Thanks Tara!
What a great post and something that I can definitely relate to. Given that my last day at my corporate job is coming up to give me the freedom to pursue other things that are more aligned with my passion, this couldn’t have come at a more perfect time!
Ohhhhh! Congrats on that last day of the corporate grind. It was the best and biggest leap I have ever taken. Would love to know how your transition goes. Keep in touch.
Love this! Cant wait to check out the free workbook. Thank you so much for sharing!
Jen – thanks for checking out the workbook. Would love your feedback after you work through it.
That quote about letting go is incredibly powerful. Tara is an incredible person to have on your side. I love this post – it’s so inspiring. I know that I don’t always connect with my why every day. Mindset is something that I’ve been trying to work on more because it is such a powerful tool.
Thank you lovely! When you can connect with your vision, mission, your why, and your goals everyday it is the most powerful thing you can do for your success. But first you have to absolutely clear on all those things.
Thank you for the great tips, Tara! I think letting go of fear of failure and then redefining failure and success beyond conventional definitions are key. Easier said than done, but so important!
We are so quick to reframe failure which gives it a negative connotation. But I like to explore embracing failure and not seeing it as scary or negative. Embrace it, acknowledge it, accept it, learn from it — all positive.
What a great and encouraging post!
Looove this post! All of it is inspiring and motivating! I need to learn to let go and stop being so hard on myself. AND to stop comparing myself to others. I know I stand in my own way. I need to read this daily… probably twice daily. 😉 Thanks so much for sharing, ladies! Cheers to a fabulous weekend!
yes, you and me both!
I have become very aware that I am usually the thing standing in my way…. fear of taking the next step or pushing beyond what’s comfortable. Every time I do, it gets a little easier the next time to remind myself that it’s worth it! Great post, Tara.
Oh lordy! Learning to be comfortable with discomfort is something I’m working on. It’s a continual lesson.
Absolutely love this. I am currently going through business coaching and working on growing my business. These are definitely some of the ways I stand in my own way. So many great reminders here!
What’s your business Jen?
SOO many things I wish I could tell my younger self, um shoot myself today. Slow down, one thing at a time, it gets done when it should.
I think the mental practice is huge and I need that constant reminder to keep it going!
Yes, sloooowwww down. I have a little mantra “focus and finish.”
Love that quote on letting go! And love these nuggets of wisdom! Sometimes I tend to stay on the fence, afraid to take a leap – and posts like this help tip me over some! Thanks Lindsay for having Tara on!
Encouraging you to take that leap Shashi!
Enjoyed this post — I needed the encouragement to be more confident and not perceive failure as the end of everything. You never can succeed if you don’t try…Thanks for the reminders!!
Hey Jessica
It’s more like failure is the beginning of everything 🙂
Love this!! Thanks so much for a little bit of Friday inspiration!
The quote about letting go really calls to me. There is so much to be said for that and it is very applicable to my life right now.
you and me both jess!
I just read an article about the steps or attributes of achieving excellence, and it really went a long way towards reminding me that I need to get myself refocused. I think that is the biggest thing standing in my way!
Hi Susie. That one action alone will have the biggest impact. You can start with creating a 10 year vision for yourself.
Thanks for this, Tara! I have to say that reading it reminds me that while I’m improving, I’m stick creating a lot of roadblocks for myself. I’d love to read this everyday as a way to help set my intentions.
That’s another reason I had her share! I need to read it daily
Thx Cotter Crunch this really helped visit my website Newerday.weebly.com I’m only 14 but me and my friends tried really hard
Michele – what’s your biggest roadblock right now?
oh that quote about letting go is definitely one of my faves and an idea which, to me, feels as though cannot be taught.
it has to be experienced.
Carla — letting go is definitely something that has to be mastered through experience like we practice so many other things in our lives.
i actually put that quote in there because I am experiencing it NOW myself. 😉