Real life is shared here on this blog. And today I have another REAL life GUEST POST! Round 2 of Life after Blogging. Enjoy her wise words!
Hi Cotter Friends – I’m back And SO happy (and honored!) to be here guest blogging for the ever-beautiful Lindsay while she’s off traveling for a few days.
Last time I visited, I talked about life after blogging and some simple truths I’ve taken to heart, recently.
And today? I’m here to talk a little bit more about life after blogging and how I approach or see life today vs. how I saw it through my ‘blogger eyes’.
First off, let’s get one thing out of the way – I’m a total Type A personality. I have a very hard time with pulling back, with not living in go-go-go mode constantly. I’m working on that.
But through my ‘blogger eyes’? I saw that tendency to do more, go more, BE more as something to be proud of. It was so gratifying to write about how much I conquered in my day, or what my new goal was for a race, or whatever. And in some ways, sure – hitting milestones or conquering a new goal is totally something to be proud of and to strive for.
BUT.
When going, going, going, doing, doing, doing, becomes ALL that you are day in and day out? Where’s the ‘life’ in that? And by ‘life’ I mean where is the living in the moment, being present, versus rushing from milestone to milestone and through to-do lists? To me, that means you’ve sort of lost sight of the ‘living’ part of life. The part where we actually take a moment to step back, exhale and take it all in.
(this picture was taken in Maine at our favorite lake, Mousam Lake as we helped my grandparents close their summer home for the season…this picture captures the essence of this ‘happy place’ for me but also captures the essence of stepping back, of exhaling, just being…)
That’s been the single most eye-opening bit for me in the life after blogging realm. I talked about living a full life in my last guest post for Lindsay. I’d urge you not to misconstrue that ‘full life’ concept as a life jam-packed with all of those things I listed above (the goals, milestones, bucket lists, to-do lists, etc.) but instead to think of a full life as a ‘lived’ life. One where you do take that time to step back, to exhale, to explore, to just be. (sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out…)
And while I may still be a Type A-er by fault, I am striving for reformed Type-A. Where I’m able to say no, I don’t NEED to do xyz activity, I’m perfectly content right here. And no, I don’t HAVE to clear my to-do list today, going for a walk through my favorite local nature reserve is far more important (like the hubs and I recently did on a rare weekday off together)…
The moments we spent together that day solidified for me exactly what living a ‘lived’ life means to me today. Not through ‘blogger eyes’ but through my eyes today. A lived life is a slower life (in my opinion…and this can be figurative too, not necessarily literal) where you learn to literally stop and take a deep breath of the crisp fall air around you, quack at the ducks in the pond as they quack back at you, and walk hand-in-hand daydreaming away with the hubs without a second thought about the to-do list, chores, miles, and errands that await you at home. (and learn to laugh at yourself when you take a wrong turn on said nature walk and have to track back a good two miles to get to your car, ha).
So let’s go ahead and add that to my list of simple truths – strive for a ‘lived’ life, not a ‘rushed’ life. There is a difference. This much I’ve learned.
Love,
Jess
What are you striving for in life? Let’s savor it, don’t rush it.
What great words, Jess…This is such a good lesson for everyone in our North American culture, but I do think especially for bloggers (like myself) to remember. Thanks for this reminder…really well said and I love hearing from your perspective. 😀
Blogging or not I think those are valuable words. Really living is the most important thing in life!
I’m pretty sure you just described me to a T. I love my lists, I embrace my type A personality and I’m almost always going, going, going. I do however realize the value in taking time to slow down and relax because without that, the going, going, going becomes less like fun things to do and more like chores to cross off the list. It took me years to learn that though and a refresher course never hurts.
Today, I have a ton of things on the list (cooking and housework related), but regardless of whether or not all those things get accomplished, I am taking time to sit by the fire with my Hubby, the felines, and a good book. That’s living.
So I gotta know: did you sit back by the fire, your kitties and a good book?? I hope so 🙂 🙂
I did and it was lovely.
And somehow I still got a ton of cooking done too. It still amazes me when you take the time to relax and unwind, stuff still manages to get accomplished, and you end up enjoying it a lot more.
I’m sorry I missed the first installment of this series from the lovely Jess. While I’ve missed her blog, I see her around and it whenever I do, it makes me smile – she was one of the first people Inecer followed on Twitter and was one of my inspirations to start a blog of my own!
I’m so happy to see that the big decision to stop blogging has brought peace and presence to this lovely lady’s life!
Xo
Aww Melissa — you are AMAZING, I still can’t believe I was one of the first you followed on twitter, that totally stuns me, hehe. but I love it 🙂 🙂 Thank you for sticking ‘by’ me even though I’m no longer a blogging regular, you are the best!!
LOVE THIS! I love that you say thru your eyes & also that it is a lived life! I appreciate that you discuss how you used to be & with all the crazy challenges out there now & do this & that, let people know it is OK not to do that too! To each their own!!!
Banana Protein Cookies; Happy Bday to my Sis http://truth2beingfit.com/2013/10/31/banana-protein-cookies-happy-bday-to-my-sis.aspx
So beautiful and so important to look at life through your own eyes and not “blogger eyes”! It is hard in today’s society and social media world to not get wrapped up in this, so I make an effort on the weekends to spend one day disconnected, no pictures, no sharing, but enjoying the “real” moment. XOXO
Love this! Per your tweet — I totally wish you, me and Lindsay could sit back and chat about this more over a glass of wine (or two, or three…). so glad you loved the blog post, I loved writing it for the one and only Lindsay Cotter <3
Such a great sentiment – I do find myself rush, rush, rushing. Sometimes I actually tell myself to slow down 😉 Baby steps!
Oh yes. I’ve really been learning this the last year… I just can’t do it all, and that is definitely okay. Thanks for sharing!
Love this post sis, and perspective. A lived life is by far the most important. I read through these comments and do agree that sometimes writing helps me realize things or work through things that have come to light because of blogging, rather than get in the way of living life and not documenting it. I guess the two can go hand in hand, but can also clutter the ‘living’ aspect while only doing the ‘documenting’ aspect. If this even makes sense, which, since we share a brain, I think it does. I DO agree 1000% that there is so much more living to be done when we set aside the to-do list and realize there is no such thing except the one we make. so, toss it aside sometimes and see the world around you. I am working on this DAILY.
These comments totally helped me to see the other side of things too, sis — the ‘good’ in blogging that I didn’t forget about per se, but have been somewhat removed from since I stopped blogging.
But you’re right, it is a DAILY battle for me too, to really stop, look around, exhale. We are getting better at being that check/balance for eachother though, I’m so thankful for that!!
This is something I also struggle with. I am such a planner and a go-go-go-er that when something spontaneous comes up, it’s hard for me to just go with the flow…but I’m working on it! This post was pretty inspiring 🙂 Thanks!
For the most part though I do savor life. I am sort of rushing to get what I want out of it, but I always speed check myself and tell myself to just RELISH in the NOW!
such a good perspective. having goals and always having ‘the next thing’ is something I do too, while also trying to be present with everything. I don’t blog about much of that, though, so that has never been in the way for me – it IS completely separate.
while we ALL miss your blogging, I am happy for you and know it is a good thing. and those who love you can find you anyway! XXO
I would actually LOVE to hear from you on that aspect of your life Kristina, I am sure we could all learn a ton from you. I love that you’ve found a good way to separate the two so you can maintain that semblance of balance that is SO important. xoxo
I think you both know that I am so with you on these points. Life got way too crazy for me and I really have pulled back in a lot of ways. I feel like I can breathe again. I value the friendships I’ve made through blogging, but I can’t let it take over my life anymore. I’m so happy for you Jess and the path that you’ve chosen. I know you are happier for it and that’s really the important part. Love you both! xoxo
I am SO glad you’ve pulled back my friend and found a better, slightly more sane path to follow — it’s HARD to pull back, especially when it means pulling back on something that you love. I struggle with it, too but ultimately, the ‘presence’ thing always takes priority more and more lately. much love my friend xoxo
Totally with you on the savouring without rushing. Life is meant to be enjoyed. One moment at a time 🙂
Jess! I love seeing you here. I miss your writing because you do make me stop and think and reconsider things. When I first started blogging, it was all about doing things for the sake of the blog and now, that’s really second to living my life and spending time with family and friends and being present. xo
Aww every time you say that Christine, you make me miss writing even more! Part of the reason I LOVE visiting here now and then — I’m so glad Lindsay has invited me back time and again 🙂 🙂
And SO agree – being present has become a huge priority for me, more and more and MORE often lately and I’m glad you are in the same boat my friend. xo
I LOVE THIS in so many ways! I don’t know if I would consider myself Type A but I do know that I want to do the best at all that I do! Blogging has been amazing for me but sometimes I get so caught up that I end up working all day and not enjoying much of anything while my life is passing me by! This is something so important to remember. We must stop and enjoy life or it will be gone before we know it!
Stepping back and enjoying life has been something I have been working on the past few months. I am so Type A, that is can be hard, but I know I can’t live the next 60 {hopefully} years of my life planning and fretting over every little thing.
Nail on head!
I agree with Coco on this one. I don’t allow my blog to rush me or give me pressure. I think it has enhanced my ability to slow down, absorb and ‘live’ my life.
I need to savor life and not always planning the “next thing” plus being present. I need to remember my little guy is only little so long and the chores can wait, he can’t!
love the idea of savoring life and not rushing through it… blogger or not! 🙂
I can see this side, but I find that blogging has had almost the opposite effect for me. I notice and appreciate the little things more and writing about them helps me realize that even my “boring” life is pretty good.
that’s a good point! kind of like accountability in slowing down life!
I dig that Coco — that blogging has actually helped you to see the beautiful, albeit minute, details in our day worth celebrating. A reason that blogging can be SUCH a rewarding part of our lives, truly. I wouldn’t take that time as a blogger back for anything, I learned a TON about myself in the process and it sounds like you have too.
love this!!! we do our best to take time out of each day to sit back and relax. to enjoy life. to enjoy everything around us 🙂
I feel like I am blogging more but only after my kids are in bed. It’s more important to be in the now with them as they are growing up so fast. I won’t be able to get these precious moments back.
I LOVE the phrasing of THROUGH YOUR EYES and not a bloggers eyes.
I can really feel that in myself since we had our daughter.
and Im blogging less 🙂
Should always be YOUR EYES vs. ‘blogger eyes’ first and foremost right?? So glad you agree 🙂