If you are reading this now, that means the Cotter’s have departed Auckland (well hopefully). The 1990 Honda has hit the road and is making our journey back to Christchurch via Tauranga for a quick weekend race.
These past 11 days have been FULL. But not just full of training, friends, etc. It’s been FULL of LIFE. It’s taken a whole new year to realize that but THANK GOODNESS we did.
Below you will tidbits of Auckland. The friends we caught up with, the meals we feasted on, holidays we celebrated, and the beautiful land we explored via bike and foot.
Our running and biking trails.
Auckland Harbor and Fish Market
But what you didn’t see cannot be captured through a lens. It’s called rekindling a marriage. Discovering that after 4 years of marriage, we are not perfect but we are perfect for each other. Remembering that love isn’t about being the best wife/husband on paper, it’s about loving that person for who they are and occasionally laughing at each other along the way.
I strived to be the perfect wife for so long, but it wasn’t until this trip (this time of renewal) that I discovered my husband doesn’t need or want a perfect wife, he wants ME……..his side kick, his flirt, his number one fan. 
Now why didn’t I realize this 4 years ago? haha! Life is about learning, yes?!
What did you re-discovered this past week?
See you next week! Hopefully from the South Island.
Cheers,
LC
p.s.
A huge thank you to Mary (a merry life) and Kepa for taking the time to meet up with us for coffee. What a great way to end our time here in Auckland, with new friends!
I’m so happy for the both of you!!! I have this perfectionist type personality and it takes me a lot to remember that i just need to be me. Don’t need to be perfect. hope you have a safe journey back home 🙂
it does take a lot to remember, but that effort is worth it, yes!?!
“Discovering that after 4 years of marriage, we are not perfect but we are perfect for each other.”
I love that. So much. It took me a long time to realize that about my relationship with my husband as well, but it really makes everything make so much sense now! 🙂
no kidding! But i think God had it in his plan, his little life lessons for me. haha. Cheers to marriage bliss Rach!
So GLAD to hear you came to this awesome realization Lindsay. I think you’re pretty dang awesome as yourself as well 🙂
Safe travels, dear!!
well thank you Paige. I think you are pretty awesome and I have ALWAYS realized that. 🙂
You are so right! Perfect for each other .i must remember this 🙂 safe travels girl 🙂
oh i think you are pretty good at remembering this. You and bill seem to compliment each other with great love. A great example to us all!
Aww, Lindsay, I’m so happy that the romantic fire was re-lit between you and the Hubbs! That’s what what happens when you eat delicious gluten-free burgers on a regular basis! 😉 Hehe. But in reality, the flames can be attributed to you and your outlook: we’re not perfect, and the people in our lives realize that. Those who matter love us for being us–quirks and all!
Happy weekend, friend! xoxo
haha, i agree! and we’ve had it 4x in one week. Burn baby burn! but no you are right…OUTLOOK is everything!
i love two things about this post: the fact that baracouda is spelled with a “t” in NZ and that you referred to yourself as your husband’s “flirt.” 🙂 it’s so important to keep the nudges and winks alive in a relationship!
oh wait, i love three things: you’re spirit! as alway, so bright and calming!
oh i didn’t even know that, baracouDa! haha. And yes, i just found my flirt box again. It had been hiding for far too long!
yes my dear…life IS about learning.
every single day. It can be about you or the others around you or about things you dont know. I cannot say that I have tried to be the perfect wife (poor my husband) but I do my best to be a good one. I am guilty of trying to be the perfect mom….now that is impossible. It is exhausting, depressing, frustrating..it can ruin the whole experience I think..it took me a while to let go of that and now I do the best I can every day. Some days my best is not great but my intentions were good and I know now that it is OK to not be perfect.
oh caroline, thank you for sharing and reaffirming this. Remind me to come to you when we have kids. I’ll need a good Perfect Mom slap! haha.
Ooohh.. I love your honest in this post. Thank you for sharing! Our anniversary is coming up in a few weeks.. it’s always a great time to reflect, right? If we learnt everything from the very beginning it just wouldn’t be as fun 😉
Ooohh.. I love your honest in this post. Thank you for sharing! Our anniversary is coming up in a few weeks.. it’s always a great time to reflect, right?
oh definitely! Reflect and be thankful. Happy early anniversary. How many years?
you two are soooo cute! and yes rediscovering what love and marriage is all about is so true. I feel like that with Gary even though we are not married being together for 9 years we have had our fair share of challenges but in the end we are perfect for each other 🙂 oh the lessons life teaches us!
HUGS
wow, 9 years is a long time. I think this wedding just might be the rekindling and IGNITING you need, yes?
Awww I love it!! First of all, Auckland looks and sounds awesome. Second, You guys are adorable. No wonder the whole anniversary thing was no big! I hope I find a relationship like that one day. I really hope to be able to explore the world with someone who loves being active and loves me for who I am!!
that i know WILL happen with you Tara. Your passion will be shared, embraced, and explored with a perfect man FOR YOU! And when it does, can i come to the wedding? hehe.
It was so great to meet you while you were here!
Lovely message about marriage that I’m going to remember. I hope in four years we are doing as well as you guys. 🙂
Have a safe trip back to Christchurch!
i think marriage is all about getting wiser throughout the years, yes?! Hope you get some work done while he is home, hehe.
😉
Looks like you’ve had a wonderful time. Congrats on 4 year of marriage, I’m happy you’ve found each other! 😀
Have a safe trip back and a safe stay in ChCh!
thank you friend. I am hoping those quakes are over. saying a little prayer now.
xoxo
What a beautiful post! Every marriage takes work and remembering why we fell in love with our significant other is so important!
it really is important. The “why” is the best part. Agreed!
Ahhhh big smiles just thinking about the love you guys have for one another, and this awesome time to develop new fun feelings together! I think it must be a 4 years thing… Alex and I are in a similar state of relationship re-awakening… rediscovering what we love and cherish about one another… it’s a beautiful thing! <3
What an amazing way to re-kindle your marriage and fire!! Love it!! Glad you had a great trip!
yes, too good of time. *sigh*
A relationship is an evolving journey in itself! It’s so fun to discover and re discover things about oneself and one’s partner along the way.
So back to Chch huh? You should check out the Herb Centre for a legal LSD 😉
oh herb centre?! Where is this? We are back in ChC come Tuesday. Thats if the quakes are over. eeeek!
http://theherbcentre.co.nz
They call it a dandy-chino but I like LSD name better, same same though. The cafe has great gluten free stuff, and the dispensary is awesome 🙂 Yeah not so good about all the quakes, boo.
So true, live and learn. And in my case bike and learn too. 🙂
hehe, love that krista! Bike and learn, swim and learn, run and learn!
The worst times in my life come when I try to be “perfect” (whatever that is) instead of just being me. Great post!
Oh AMEN to that! That is why 2011 was the WORST year ever. But God is good, yes!
Rekindling?
BURN BABY BURN!
Stroke those fires…lol.
PS- You’re not perfect? *winkwink*
haha, perfect is boring, right? At least thats what i am saying. I like to think i have “flavor flaws.”
p.s.
that wine…untamed hearts…………A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!
I’m so glad to realize this – I love reading about a happy relationships, but I love reading about a healthy one more – which means honesty and ups & downs. I’m glad you are re-discovering that!
My discovery isn’t complete yet, but I feel like I’m re-discovering my appetite.
Oh, and ice baths… post scheduled for Sunday!
ups and downs cannot be looked over, yes?! And yay for appetite. Can’t wait to hear!
AWwwh this is so so sweet… what a beautiful post!!
It’s so true to about not being the “perfect wife” love it, glad you guys are so happy!!
oh yes friend. How is your married life going by the way?
Wonderful post! I can tell from your renewed spirits that you are embracing life and I love that. So so incredibly happy for you and your husband. Nothing makes me happier than hearing that a good friend is happy and full of life. 🙂
Good luck to your hubby at his race this weekend.
thank you rachelle. LIfe is about lessons, yes? In all forms! haha.
Full of life…now that is beautiful. I want those bike/run trails so bad and I am glad you got another burger, one more reason to come out and visit you:) Travel safe!
oh yes, another reason to visit and another reason to love life! hehe. Thanks friend.
This was so beautiful, Liz. Brought tears to my eyes!!! What you said is so true – esp the part about your hubby not wanting a perfect wife – but wanting you. Your trip sounds amazing – good luck to your hubby this weekend!! Hope the race goes well =)
thanks Michele. It was a tough year but i think it was worth the growth in the end, ya know?
Love this. I so appreciate, when in the midst of craziness, you take a step back, really look at eachother, and realize how perfect life is…and how perfect you are for eachother. Cheers!
yes!! Totally! We are imperfectly perfect for each other. <3
This is beautiful! I may have even choked up a little bit! 😉
i choked up a lot, haha. But it was tears of joy!
What an awesome sentiment, it’s so easy to get caught up in how we think we’re supposed to be instead of just being ourselves and loving each other unconditionally. Glad you’ve had some time to renew during the trip so far.
And good luck to Team Cotter this weekend!!
yes and i just pray that this newness continues. Letting go and letting love make its own here. And TEAM COTTER was good this weekend! Phew!
beautiful pics!!! and such a great message dear friend. i hope you have a wonderful weekend!
thanks Julia. Enjoy your weekend and enjoy your runs (of course!!)
Loving this post. All too often we fall into the trap of trying to be someone that we might not necessarily be. Granted, striving to be a perfect wife is commendable, but forgetting to start the dishwasher before bedtime really isn’t going to kill anyone; even if you think its the end of the world 😉 Luckily we have husbands that think the same way, eh??
Burgerfuel looks amazing. Every now and then I crave a HUGE, loaded burger… I’d get a Bastard Burger, only because the mango on it sounds like an interesting addition, with a side of Kumara fries. Yes, I looked at the menu. Is that so wrong?? Haha!!
oh the bastard, its good. Like too good! and thank you for sharing your marriage thoughts, I admire you mother/wife abilities friend.
What a beautiful message! Like when you said “husband doesn’t need or want a perfect wife, he wants ME”. We don’t get married for perfection, rather for love. Enjoy your NZ adventures and your trip back to Christchurch.
and thankgoodness for that, otherwise we might not ever ever married. Right?
Thanks for your blog. This was the first thing I read on my Friday morning. And I learned a lot! 1. I must try Burgerfuel in my lifetime. 2. I need to plan a trip for me and my hubby to Aukland to rekindle our marriage. 3. We’re super struggling right now due to outside issues. Since #2 is next to impossible, I did start the morning by asking him what he needs from me. I know, why I need a blog to remind me to ask simple questions is beyond me 🙂 But never turn down free advice, right? Best of luck in the travels and on race weekend. Looking forward to hearing how that goes.
thats great! Just what he needs, just to know you care. Which you do! Its about what you can do for him and vice versa. I am sure he would love just a hug and kiss.
🙂
AWWW!!! SO SO SO happy you two are doing all sorts of rekindling!! I love you guys!!!
and we love you! now you must come visit us after heathers. Or better yet, bring heather and jason and jo and M!!!
I say marriage is not having the perfect partner but being the best you can be for the other- which is exactly what you do for James…. I also say that a great marriage means picking someone whose bullSh*t you can put up with- Both are equally important- one just sounds so much better!! xo
I thought of you while writing this. The dedication you have to your husband and vice versa. Truly beautiful!
I’ve been married 16 years and I will tell you you will rediscover each other over and over. Marriage is a sacrifice for each other and so many don’t understand. You two are so beautiful together! Wishing you all the best!! xxoo
oh i just love you nora! thank you for this wonderful affirmation. I love your friendship you have with your hubby. Inspiring!
Awesome, you guys! Love what you said about marriage and man is NZ ever beautiful! Cheers to this weekend’s race; keep honoring Christ in all things! Love you both.
oh thank you for that reminder. Honor Christ in ALL things. Amen!
What a lovely post. And what a way to begin 2012! HAppy new year to both of you lovelies!
oh thank you Petra. Cheers!
Thank you for your reflections on marriage. I just got married in the summer of 2011 and had the ‘perfect wife’ syndrome raging for a little while. Thanks for the reminder just to be myself 🙂
oh i think it comes with being a new wife. But its a good lesson for us all, right?
You make me want to get married. Except for that whole finding someone, and having to change my schedule….what? Me? Selfish? 😉
So glad you are having such a great time down there. Bring me a cute Kiwi back!
haha, i am still selfish. Just married a man who is WAY LAID BACK! Thats what you need. Again….come to NZ for that. No joke.
Beautifully said! Loving your spouse for who they are is key!
Sometimes when I have certain expectations for my husband I have to take a step back and remind myself that I don’t want him to have expectations of me, I just want him to love me!
ahh, yes. please remind me to do that more often.
aw, brought a tear to my eye LC! this week i have rediscovered that you have to take a step back sometimes in order to move forward in life!
yes!! I love what you rediscovered and I am so excited for you to move FORWARD this year….HEALTHY!
Lindsay – so is James running the 1/2?? How’s his knee? praying for you guys!
just finished! and he raced undercover so no pressure. the knee did well! we are thanking GOD!
Such a sweet post! Not only does it make me miss Auckland, but who doesn’t LOVE love?
auckland misses you…just sayin
I LOVE this post! (I feel like I say that ALL the fricking time!) I love that you are rekindling and rediscovering each other and realizing that perfection isn’t marriage, you two together is perfection…imperfectly. If that makes sense. Have a safe trip and good luck to James!!!
oh gosh, i know you can relate and i am so thankful to share in a similar journey. Hugs friend!
Linds I am SO HAPPY for you two! happy you are able to spend time and rediscover and learn! you two are a perfect pairing and that makes me happy.
best of luck on the race this weekend – I’ll be thinking about you!
gosh, its people like you Kris who help us see that in each other. Really! Love you for that.
awwww, loved this! such a great marriage perspective! i need to remind myself of this every once and a while!
i need this plastered on my forehead. haha. Cheers to good reminders.
“Discovering that after 4 years of marriage, we are not perfect but we are perfect for each other” <—– YES absolutely love this my friend!!!
you know, i see how you “work” with Jason and it make me love being married. Thank you for being that example.
Lindsay, I think you’ll like this reading from a friend’s wedding:
We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. It isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems — the ones that make you truly who you are — that you’re ready to find a life-long mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person — someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”
do you mind if i save this? I love it! and its a beautiful reminder. Oh and how the heck are you?
Love it! What a wonderful experience you guys were able to share 🙂
yes, God really makes you learn new things when HE wants you too, amen?! haha.
This is beautiful! You know I know exactly what you mean. I am so tired of trying to be perfect. In the end, that just turned out to be more tiring and less rewarding. Being with someone who loves you for you (even at your lowest) and doesn’t care if you can’t do everything really is so much more amazing (and less exhausting) than the other. The friendship you have with your spouse makes life and its journey so much more fun! Love you guys! Have a safe trip back and good luck this weekend! xoxo
and you really are a PERFECT match for tony and vice versa. I have gotten to see (read) how you two have overcome so much and it makes me appreciate LOVE and Marriage even more. xoxo
I love this lindsay.
love love love.
xo
well in the honor of LOVE….HAPPY ALMOST ANNIVERSARY!
you summed up the key to marriage so well – being each other’s #1 fan!! Not to say we don’t drive each other crazy from time and time, get incredibly annoyed, and sometimes think the other might have screwed up, but we are each other’s #1 fan. Some never figure it out.
You both seem to have great hearts and sweet spirits. That goes a long, long way toward being happy together.
Safe travels!!
oh good! I hope our hearts continue in that direction. I know with effort and trust they will, yes!
Awww…sooo cute! Yay, love rekindling marriage story, it warms my heart! <3 And dude, burgerfuel rocks – we went there and I got the vegan one…so cool! 😀 Happy travels! xyx
oh yes! I got the vegan one this time, BEETNIK is awesome!!