Why do I want her to keep blogging here? Well, we all need to remember…. We need to remember that life comes first, then blogging. And in the midst of a busy week and lots of “blog work,” I realized I needed to shift that focus back as well. LIFE first. Marriage First. Family First. .. and so on.
Cheers to Jess!
P.S. Jess is the twin on the left.
So I have to be honest – I really, REALLY look up the Sherpa Wife and the Kiwi Cotter as THE epitome of the importance of teamwork + LOVE that needs to go into marriage to make that marriage sing. You see, I’ve always, always believed that friendships should be easy but that marriage should be work. I know, I know — ‘work’ has such a negative connotation doesn’t it? But in context, you’ll see what I mean.
Marriage means putting the effort in. Every day. Not just on special occasions. Doing little things like sticking a post-it note in your husbands lunch as you rush out the door to work.
It also means showing love not just in words, but in actions. Doing an extra chore that the wifey usually does, or putting your shoes in the closet vs. next to the bed at the end of a long day. Or yup, buying some tulips at Trader Joes just because you know your wifey loves them.
And it definitely means teamwork. And being able to step back on a personal level, and to be able to openly put your husband or wife first when the situation warrants it. And no, not apologizing for that but embracing that and owning the sheer fact that your marriage is important to you both.
And, finally – marriage requires presence. Putting down the phone and really seeing the person sitting across from you on the couch. Turning off the laptop and flipping Pandora on so you can have a real conversation over dinner. Or whisking yourselves away to shut out any and all distractions for just a little bit.
And that last one is sort of what I’m here to talk about today. Presence is a theme I’ve touched on a lot in the last two guest posts Lindsay shared with you all here. It’s a work in progress thing for me, big time.
The whole ‘whisking away’ thing I mentioned? Yup, my husband did that for me recently. He stole me away on Christmas night to our favorite place in California – Healdsburg, Sonoma wine country and our growing home away from home. And sure, he did that (planned the whole thing without me knowing! Lucky girl alert! <3) for a fun Christmas surprise but he also did it for another reason – we needed away time. Alone time. Us time.
I knew we needed it. Life has a funny way of going into superspeed-no-time-to-breathe-make-it-stop mode and we both were doing our best to ‘just keep swimming’ when really, we needed to just stop. But I guess I didn’t realize how badly we needed it until we were away together. Agenda-less. Roaming around our favorite wineries, discovering new ones, drinking ample amounts of wine, eating amazing food and being ‘us.’
When we got back from our trip, all of our friends and family wanted to know what we did, where we went, what we saw, what we drank, what we ate. But all I cared about from that time away? I realized that I fell MORE in love with my husband during that brief time away than ever. We’re about to hit our 10-year wedding anniversary (YES, 10!) and I can’t even believe how much I love that guy. And also? How darn proud of our relationship I am – we truly are #teamsutera (a hashtag I used a LOT while we trained for the Chicago Marathon in 2012 and it’s kind of ‘stuck’ ever since)
And I guess that’s my point today – strive for teamwork in your relationship.
Because that is what will get you through the ‘for better or worse’ over the years. That, and a whole lot of love.
(good food and good wine also help…juuust a tip, hehe)
I see it all.the.time between Sherpa Cotter and Kiwi Cotter – teamwork + love, it’s a common theme in their relationship and I dig that. And yup, #teamsutera aspires to be just like them one day.
PS. My other bit of advice: GO to Healdsburg at least once in your lifetime. Seeing this view in the morning, um yeah – nothing else really compares. And the wine? Ohhh the wine…
The Cotters have to been there too!
How do you make time to reconnect with your spouse/significant/relationships other?
Is it a top priority?
Thanks Jess and Happy Friday!
LC (sherpa wife)