I have a little story to tell today. Well that and a super easy recipe. Both make me happy. Both are full of good stuff.
You see, a little over a year ago I received some excellent advice. It was advice from a Christian counselor. Yes, I was seeing a Christian counselor. In fact, the hubs often came with me to see this counselor.
Side note: I think everyone needs a counselor, mentor, etc. AMEN to that!
The main reason I was seeing her was to deal with a lot of anxiety, stress, and fear issues. She really did help me see where all this was coming from and she helped me (us) realize how to overcome it.
But the one thing that stuck with me more than anything was a phrase she would repeat to us quite often.
“You are in charge of your own happiness.”
For the longest time I stressed out because I wanted James to be happy. Happy in racing, his career, our future plans, his training, our finances. I’d would get to bent out of shape over the things that “didn’t go as planned” and felt like I was constantly failing as a wife.
But I couldn’t control that. I couldn’t control the outcome of… life, really.
It wasn’t until we were living in New Zealand that it really sunk in. This “happiness” factor. This quest for “how to make each other happy.”
It was letting go and allowing real emotions to take it’s course. Allowing us to just be there for each other. In the good times and the hard times. Not trying to change the circumstance, but instead saying “I love you,” ”I’ll behind you 100%,” then giving each other a hug and kiss. Done. Not dwelling on the past, not fearing the future. Just being THERE..NOW.
Yep, that was it.
And the result.
A feeling of CONTENT. With us, with where we were (are), and more.
So I’d like to add on to that phrase now. That little bit of advice.
“You are in charge of your own happiness”….. And all it takes is being there for one another, no more, no less.
The hubs had a long weekend of work /coaching related stuff. I wanted to be there for him. I do that the best with FOOD of course.
So I made these. And he was content. Pretty simple if you ask me, eh?
Cocoa Eggins
- 4 eggs
- 4 egg whites
- 1/4 to 1/2 cup coconut cream or regular cream
- 1 tbsp 100% cocoa powder
- Optional – chilli pepper for spice
- oil
- Mix all your eggs and cream in a bowl. Add in your spices and mix again. Oil up a muffin pan and spoon in your batter to each tin.
- Place in oven at 350F for 18-20minutes depending on your oven.
- Let cool for for 5-10 minutes
- Sprinkle with extra cocoa if desired.
Even though this is a mushy Monday post, it’s also a Marvelous in My Monday. Thanks Katie. I’m mushy gushy MARVELOUS today!
Best Advice you’ve ever gotten?
cheers,
LC
{ 94 comments… read them below or add one }
Bless you for your honesty & for sharing the truth. If you enjoy listening to podcasts, I would recommend downloading the Elevation Church app and listening to the series on Room 101. It is all about fear and how we can find confidence in Christ. It is SO good… only 4 sermons and all about 40 or so minutes long. Definitely worth the listen while on a hike or bike ride.
Happy for you
oh i am so going to do that! Love the elevation church. THanks Jenny!
LCCotter recently posted..The Happiness Factor
I love that – it’s so hard to sometimes remember that we can’t control everything and that shouldn’t define happiness.
Heather (Where’s the Beach) recently posted..Fun Facts Friday – Weekly Randomness
Thank you for being real and raw girl!!! I saw a counselor the fall of 2010 to deal with the grief of my dad’s death. It really really helped!! I do have sad days, but I don’t dwell on certain issues that were weighing me down. I do think I need to go see someone to deal with my self image issue, but dont have the funds to go for that. I do have a mentor though right now so that has been helping me. I am kind of dealing with that right now myself….Im stressing out badly right now because I want to be happy just in general..with money, job, future, everything. Praying for you! Love ya!
Allie recently posted..Thoughts
Love it. We have a sign in our kitchen that says ‘Happiness is not a destination, it is a way of life’… there are times I have to concentrate on that more than others, but it’s a good reminder
I can completely relate to feeling helpless as a wife when your husband is injured. To see hopes dashed with the possbility of it not getting better is so heartwrenching. I just wanted to fix my husband myself! With a whole lot of prayer and faith that God will only give us what we can handle, we got through it. Finally Marc is healthy and on the path back to racing at the level he wants. It’s so amazing to see the transformation (after of course!).
You are amazing… so glad I found you on the internets
PS I can’t wait to dive into those bites! I may save them for my flight on Wednesday
Christa @ Edible Balance recently posted..It’s Getting Closer!
Best and advice ever and an awesome recipe all in one! Fabulous blog post for sure!
danielle @ Clean food creative fitness recently posted..Marvelous in my Monday!
Love, love, love this post. Thank you sweet friend!
Petra recently posted..Blue skies, Smiling at me, Nothing but blue skies, Do I see
I think david helped me to learn the lesson of not trying so hard to be happy, but just to be and there is happiness.
The best advice I don’t know if someone gave it to me or I just finally figured it out but I live by it daily “don’t complain about things you aren’t willing to change”
Amanda @RunToTheFinish recently posted..Progress not Perfection
I love you. That is all. xo
Heidi @BananaBuzzbomb recently posted..Buzz: Living Life At Buzzbomb Speed
and i love you. that is all and then some. hehe
LCCotter recently posted..The Happiness Factor
So well said my dear!
What amazing advice – so easy to say, harder to implement, but something you can act on.
Heather @ Better With Veggies recently posted..Meatless Mondays from A-Z: Fig Cream Stuffed French Toast
love, love, LOVE this! i couldn’t agree more with what your counselor said about happiness. it’s not always easy, but something very important to remind ourselves of. thanks for this reminder friend!
Ashley @ My Food ‘N’ Fitness Diaries recently posted..Ideas to Amp Up Your Bowl of Oatmeal
yes indeed friend.
Hope you are feeling well these days. hugs to you and baby on board!
LCCotter recently posted..The Happiness Factor
Your counselor and my former boss/mentor must share a brain! Joe would tell me that you have to cut your own path in life…never depend on anyone else. Do what makes you happy
i just went for a semi enjoyable run, ate some dinner and had a dessert of healthy bites. Now THAT makes me happy 
and now that makes me happy! I think your boss is so right. We need these people in our lives to remind us. One day at a time, go for it, enjoy life, relax, be CONTENT! xxoo
LCCotter recently posted..The Happiness Factor
Aw- I love that story and that advice!
It’s a great lesson. I was grumpy with work today and then remembered that I can let myself be grumpy about it or I can not. After a nice walk in the sunshine with the dog, I’m back to happy!
Abby @ Change of Pace recently posted..One more time – summer hikes
oh friend I just LOVE this post. (I feel like I say this about all of your posts, haha) Once again you hit the nail on the head — this is something Scott has been instrumental in teaching me: to choose happiness, rather than the alternative and to take control more of the good and let go of the bad, just ‘being’ in the moment and not letting the circumstances and ‘things’ we can’t control get the better of us, stealing our joy right out from under ourselves. It’s a CONSTANT journey isn’t it?? (and I just totally wrote the most rambly blog comment ever, omg lol) LOVE YOU!
Jess recently posted..Of peaks and tapers
i always love the advice you give via comments. Let’s them ramble on. So encouraging!! thank you!
LCCotter recently posted..The Happiness Factor
Isn’t being content such a blissful feeling? Cheers to you!!
I’ve seen counselors periodically throughout my life when things get messy or if I’m just feeling down. It’s a great way to download and have a neutral sounding board to gain perspective.
Best advice I’ve gotten was from my dad. He always told me that “you can do anything you want to, if you want to badly enough.” So very true – it’s what inspired the “believe” tattoo I have on my wrist. I look at it and remember him and his example when I begin to doubt myself.
Also, I LOVE this recipe! it’ might be my snack tonight… maybe with some cinnamon and cayenne for a Mexican cocoa twist. You rock!!
Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted..Fig and Edamame Salad with Sriracha-Lime Vinaigrette
i like your dad and you. Such wisdom here! But you knew that right?
Love that SO much. It’s so true, and I don’t think many people realize it. Thank you for the reminder
Brittany @ GOtheXtraMile recently posted..Marvelous Monday
its so easy to forget. Thats why we have each other, right? to remind us of it.
xxoo
LCCotter recently posted..The Happiness Factor
Very good advice to remember!
Stacie @ Snaps and Bits recently posted..10 Things About My Wedding
just want I needed, I have always struggles with happiness. I worry too much about others being happy. I am learning to let go and just be me – happy!
purelymichelle recently posted..oh where, oh where did our workouts go
its the people pleaser within us. But not pleasing them for us, pleasing them for them. Ya know? Only they can do that. Yes, we need to let go. I’m with ya! love you.
LCCotter recently posted..The Happiness Factor
Love this post and admire your ability to seek help!! The best advice I go to regularly comes from the Bible
“Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about.” (Philippians 4:8.)
Miriam @ Bellaspire recently posted..Breakfast Nook Transformation- Annie Sloan Chalk Paint
oh yes, amen to that! I don’t know what i would do without God’s word. So true Miriam!
Man you are awesome.
Love this post and message you bring…. honest and true.
xx
PS I’m heading back to NZ in 2 weeks – would you like some goodies!?!
Lou recently posted..sugar, antibiotics, depression, yeast, digestive health…. could they all be related?
oh just bring me! i want to come. hehe. No, we are all good. Need anything from US?
I love this!! What great advice!! I think everyone should see a counselor too! Mine made such a HUGE difference in my life.
Brittany @ Delights and Delectables recently posted..Marvelous In My Monday #15
yes! and i have a mentor too! a true Godsend!
Hi, My name is Casey and we share a brain…LOL! I went to see a Christian counselor for the same reasons. I’ve become so much more aware of how amazing it is to just let go and live, to realize you’re powerless and full of power all at the same time.
All of this and you give me another great recipe to try? Love it.
Casey recently posted..Ears Without Fears
haha, i know. I think we do share the same brain. NOw, can we just share the same city? ;=)
LCCotter recently posted..The Happiness Factor
Such simple words, yet so true and very real! Glad you are finding happiness and are so content, it’s the best way to be.
What a cool recipe! And I can make it because it’s paleo
I’ll take your advice too. You’ve got to put joy out into the world if you’d like some back!
StoriesAndSweetPotatoes recently posted..My Whole30
I have been loving your posts lately, friend! I’m sorry I haven’t commented much – but I’ve been reading AND appreciating your comments on my blog! Thanks so much for sharing your heart and being so transparent – great advice and I second going to a counselor/mentor/etc!
One of my best pieces is from my mom, who always said two things: “If you haven’t faced suffering yet, you will” (sounds morbid but it’s about not being surprised by suffering – if anything, it’s actually promised in the Bible!) and “If life seems hard right now, think of how different things will be in a year.” It might not be better, but it WILL be different! …love my mom.
Bonnie recently posted..Every Thought Captive
you know, that raw honesty is what we need. To depend more on God through those times and to find JOY among the suffering. Yes, thank you to your mama! and big hug to YOU!
Thanks for this honest post Lindsay, very refreshing to hear!
I’m glad the counsellor was a blessing for your husband and you. I know that with my therapy sessions, I have found a huge stress relief off of my shoulders, not to mention I don’t suffer from depression anymore and my anxiety has reduced an insane amount. I think everyone could benefit from therapy, we’re not all perfect and everyone has issues they need to sort out. Its not a negative thing in my opinion. In fact, I view it as a positive step in life if you have the strength to reach out and admit you need help.
And I just adore that recipe!! Especially since I just bought coconut cream and had no clue what to use it with!!
Lisa recently posted..Cauliflower Pizza Crust
oh yes, use your coconut c here! yea! and thank you for sharing here. It was a huge blessing, still is. We are always learning, growing, and focusing on that positive step.
LCCotter recently posted..The Happiness Factor
I’m reading the Happiness Trap right now and I really think you’d love it. Though it sounds like you already figured your way out of the trap. Good for you. Still owkring on it myself, but I’m closer!
Love you guys! You are an inspiration….in more ways than one!
oh michelle. Miss you! I need an update soon!
It really is true. We can be happy with as much or as little as we like. It really is in our own hands.
Great post, great share.
When can I come over for dessert? You have my happiness in your oven.
Pavement Runner recently posted..Mt. Diablo Marathon Recap: The Good, The Bad, The Fall.
i do. They are baking right now. I’m thinking post long run happiness for the belly.
LCCotter recently posted..The Happiness Factor
you are so flipping healthy
mentally and physically.
Miz recently posted..Im FITBLOGGIN bound!
Totally with you. We are so totally in charge of our own happiness!
Kierston recently posted..5 Tips: Easing The Pain in Fitness Competition Heels!
Wow so amazing that you could put those powerful words into effect. Control is an illusion not worthy of pursuit. Being there for each other is what it is ALL about! Thank you for sharing!
Jess recently posted..Keeping Kids Birthday Parties Healthy
i agree, control can cause such tension. Learning to let is HUGE. xoxo
Eggins?! How cute are they – and healthy!
Yes, yes, yes, everybody needs a counselor. Life coach, whatever, these people are so great at perspective. I’m glad you were able to register the importance of seeking your OWN happiness.
Nichole recently posted..Pregant & Running – Race Results
You are So beautiful inside and OUT!
So funny, I JUST posted a facebook status update and tweet that said you have the choice to be happy! We are on the same page
Love you!
katie recently posted..Getting Figgy With It
i think i learn from you. Such an encouragement you are!
LCCotter recently posted..The Happiness Factor
‘you are in charge or your own happiness’ it’s so true and sometimes i have to repeat that affirmation to myself. lately, i have been toying with the idea of anxiety meds…for a time (not perm) but am on the fence. a part of me feels defeated for possibly having to ‘take’ something to cope. the other part of me wants to continue to fight and manage my stress better on my own. i know i can do this!
oh man, can I relate. I think we can overcome this. It just means doing less and being okay with it. Easier said than done, yes?
Oh wow, how do I love this. Brought a tear to my eye, quite honestly. Because I can SO relate to this, the wanting to make those I love happy, but sometimes making them happy is that silent support, not trying to fix or change it, since you can’t, just BEING there. I am so glad you found this a-hah moment and got the support you needed from a counselor (I agree, we all need this!). XOXO, you are the best, most supportive, loving person ever. Just saying.
jobo recently posted..Striving for a set-apart life.
you make me happy friend. I know we can relate. It’s the heart in us, wanting others happiness to shine. But it also consumes us. Hugs to you and letting go.
thanks for sharing this, friend. i agree on the counselor thing. it’s good to have an outsider give you some insight–aye? i need to find my dang happiness and take charge!
janetha {meals & moves} recently posted..family vacation iii.
yes, i just wish i had a live in counselor that was free. that exists, right? LOL.
I know your happiness is right there, it’s a matter of grasping onto it with both arms. Takes a lot of strength. But worth it, yes? Wow, am i mushy or what?
Love you.
Love the story and the beautiful wisdom – be there for eachother and be there for YOU too when you need it — instead of trying to fix/change.
Sheesh when I have a bad day sometimes I forget to comfort myself and cut the slack a bit.
You.
Always leaving me with good schtuff and those Eggins look beyond “Marvelous”
Missy recently posted..Eyes Wide Open
also….i freaking LOVE your hair in “pigtails”….(from the Vlog. I just had a Cotter marathon. One day your healthy bites are gonna have a booth at that expo, mark my words. OR your gluten free wine. OR both.
Missy recently posted..Eyes Wide Open
ahhh i love you friend. Your recent post filled me with such encouragement too. Wisdom.
and i am dreamin of that expo. I want to be there with my balls, i mean bite. LOL and with pig tails. Will you join me?
I love the name “eggins,” too adorable. And what great advice, it IS so easy to blame everything else for why you’re not happy, when, really, you can just BE happy. I tried counseling once and had a pretty awful experience, I think I just needed your counselor ;D
Allie recently posted..I’m Southern and I Know It
eggins, my egg and muffin combo. haha, clever yes? And i am sorry to hear about your experience. That does happen. But luckily, you are pretty awesome! Way to look past it.
Simple and yet so true.. just be right here right now. Hope your well and those Cocoa Eggins look like a bite of heaven.
Lisa @ RunWiki recently posted..Race Recap- Navy Base Ventura County Wounded Warrior Half Marathon
thank you Lisa. I always LOOOOVE your little bits of advice. so appreciative.
You are amazing woman and love this mushy post, because it’s so darn true! I’m so glad that you have reached that feeling of CONTENT. It’s a good one isn’t it. Life is all about learning, loving, and also letting it go. xoxo
She Rocks Fitness recently posted..A Quick Weekend Away
yes yes yes, and i have to say, you have been on heck of encouragement. so thank YOU!
Oh girl, I love this post.
My mom always would tell me that “Everything happens for a reason…and God provides what you need in the end.” It’s so true. Less than a week after finding out we were pregnant with baby #2, we got the call that our mortgage went through (we were living in a TINY apt) and hubby got a promotion at work. Things work out. Stressing over them is futile. What will be, will be.
xoxo
Michele @ Nycrunningmama recently posted..Guilt With a Second Child
i absolutely love this story. It’s GOD in action right there! Thank you friend, thank you for your heart!
Thanks for sharing this story. Great message about contentness! The best advice I’ve ever had was from my Mum: everything happens for a reason, even if that reason isn’t clear.
Megan recently posted..Yet another update post
I like your MUM. she sounds like my kinda woman!
This post speaks volumes to me! I completely agree with everything! I have actually never been to counseling, but sometimes I really feel like I should to deal with things in my past. I do think everyone could benefit from it though! I feel so lucky that I have a husband that will turn off his own opinions and just let me talk things out. That’s some free therapy. For me, there is really no solution, just the need to get my feelings out there. The act of getting it out really does help me. Such beautiful words my friend! You are amazing!
Sarena (The Non-Dairy Queen) recently posted..Gluten Free Devil’s Food Cake Mix Cookies!
oh friend, yes, i knew you could relate. Sheesh, i say this so much, but why aren’t we neighbors yet? We are blessed to have such amazing husbands. Cheers!
Aww, love this! You’re so right too. So many things (well everything really) are out of our control. We just have to trust God 100%!! I love seeing a counselor. Best decision I’ve ever made!
Allie recently posted..Newbies
yes, i’m totally trying to do that more. TRUST, TRUST HIM! 110%! amen!
I totally agree with everyone needing a counselor.. Or a therapist. Or something unbiased who can listen! I think the best advice I’ve received is to live in the moment. I could spend my entire life planning the future and worrying about the future, and never enjoy the present!
Laura @ LauraLivesLife recently posted..#runreadlong Week: Speedwork
me too! but that would waste a lot of time, wouldn’t it? Let’s forget the future?? haha
I LOVE mushy Monday!! This is amazing advice and I AGREE that everyone needs a mentor/counselor!
Brittany recently posted..Farmers Market Finds
yes indeed. Can’t we all just mentor each other? haha. Mushy Monday loves you Britt!
This is a great thing to contemplate—I have spent lots of my life trying to make sure other people are happy (and often in the process, losing my own happiness connection).
Loving and feeling gratitude have been the things that saved me.
Also…not controlling outcomes, just going with the flowing and asking for the best!
Lisa recently posted..Fitness Perspectives
yes, that’s all we can do, right? Ask for the best and let go.
You can always tell when H and I aren’t just being there for each other. We may seem content, but there’s a chemistry that just isn’t there like it normally would be. I think this is a great post that really makes you contemplate if you’re really, truly THERE for someone. It’s not just about making someone else happy. “Making someone happy” doesn’t even sound “happy”. Making someone happy just to make someone happy seems so impersonal…so forced…and yet so many of us do it thinking we’re actually “making someone happy”! (If that makes sense. Ha.)
What I love about you (and other ladies like Jess, Jo, and Heather) is that you have truly remarkable relationships with your husband. It’s something to admire. I love surrounding myself with people who truly respect (on so many levels) their relationships.
Melissa @ Live, Love, & Run recently posted..Recipe: Banana Bread with Nutella Swirls
yes yes, totally get that. No chemistry. Its living, but not loving. really loving. You are so wise. And i am thankful for you!
When I went to Santa Barbara to visit my boyfriend this summer and it was my last day, I was feeling super down, anxious about leaving, where did we stand etc…
walking down State St. getting last minute gifts for my girls, I went by the Prana store and they had a chalk board out front that stated:
“I am in charge of how I feel today and I am choosing happiness”
I LOVED that… it is sooo true.. we have a choice.. if we choose the present moment and be there for OURSELF..we can choose to be happy.. not upset over past or fearful over future.. just right now!!
love it lindsay!!
tiffany recently posted..3 questions to living a balanced life
oh love it. Yoga truly helps with putting things in perspective, yes? I loved your article the other day as well. Such wisdom!
this is such a great post! i imagine it being super stressful being a wife! just always trying to be there for your hubby, etc – but i think you do a fabulous job and i’m OBSESSED with your recipe!
oh thanks julie. Your post today reminded of how to be content as well. Loved it!
Though often hard to remember, it’s still sooooooo true! Thanks for the reminder.
Tiff (@LoveSweatBeers) recently posted..The wrong side of the WIAW
xxoo. you know it. we need these reminders. yes?
I love your posts… so true, we ARE in charge of our own happiness. My ex boyfriend always used to tell me when I was in a bad mood: “Eva, you are CHOOSING to be in a bad mood. You can just as easily right this second choose to be in a GOOD MOOD and be POSITIVE”..and I never realized how right he was until like a year ago (and he said this 4 years ago haha). Since adopting a mostly positive attitude every-single-day, it’s amazing how much better my life has gotten, and how much more people want t be around me. Anyway – love what you wrote and I can see that it hits home for so many people. LOVE those eggins! I just made some w/ spinach on Sunday and they are so GOOD!
Eva @ Committed2Nutrition recently posted..New Week – More Updates
this is soo good to hear. I love how your perspective has changed and “grown.” It’s freeing, isn’t it Eva?
Needed to read this. Could use someone to guide me through some anxiety, stress, fatigue issues myself. Oh man. HUGS to you! You are a constant inspiration!!!!!!!
STUFT Mama recently posted..Random Afternoon Cliff Notes- The Good and The Bad
we have each other and GOD! We can!! Trust and obey. xoxo
I’m late but I LOVE THIS POST! This is something I do all the time. I do not like the feeling of being out of control but I had to learn to let HIM take the wheel from me and it would all work out. Things aren’t perfect but I know HE knows best and better than me. Thanks as always friend!
